Hi Darkscape Entertainment ;

I hit the read and review button again and another of your chapter's came up. This time chapter 11 - last time it was chapter 15.

I'm not even sure if any of the characters are the same and I noticed:
"That said, Alex groaned." being used again so it must be something that drops into your work often. I'd watch that. We all have our phrases we fall back on - because we do them so often we often don't notice them, but others do.

I have a little trouble at the beginning following Alex, Luis and Karen. I wasn't sure who was with who and I mistakenly thought Alex was a girl (my error I have a female cousin whose name is Alex). But this line added to that confusion:
"Ultimately, Alex didn't want to leave them alone, but with everything, she intended to speak her mind." I thought the she referred to Alex.

It got clearer as I continued to read.

I figure if I were to early chapters this would all become clearer. It's challenging to do a review on a single chapter.

Also curious what "suggestive glances" are exactly? I was trying to picture the scene and this through me.

Good luck with your story. I hope to read more of it in the future.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .