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Review #4774442
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Ol' Red Open in new Window. [13+]
Memories are made of this . . .
by Carol St.Ann Author Icon
Review of Ol' Red  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

As I was reading, I remembered the bicycle I had when I was a kid. It was nothing special, certainly not cool like this one, but it got me around and I appreciated the freedom it offered me. It was unceremoniously disposed of when I outgrew it, so there is no chance I would find it in a garage somewhere. The main character here was lucky in that respect. He hadn’t expected a positive experience on the day when he cleared the old garage, but when he saw the bike, he dropped everything, first to indulge in memories and then to go about fixing up the bike.

His contentment didn’t last very long. The shop owner (as stipulated by the prompt) was a cantankerous old man, and he didn’t seem particularly happy to see the pastor either, even though he seemed friendly enough and invited him to visit. But the important part of the story was the beginning. The descriptions were excellent and I felt like I was right there with the main character, seeing the bike again and remembering what it was like to ride it. But it was the little aside that made the scene so relatable. My favourite was, Steve drew his thumb and forefinger inward across his eyelids and rested them on the bridge of his nose. The readers immediately know that gesture, and it shows the character’s emotions very well.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was very well written but I wasn’t sure about this sentence:

The smell of new rubber and old leather combined with a fowl stench
Was that meant to say, “foul stench”?


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I hadn’t seen a prompt like this before. The ones I’m used to are a lot shorter, like three words, or a picture, but this one was oddly specific and already told some of the story. It was new to me but quite interesting, and I couldn’t make up my mind if a prompt like this made it easier or harder to write a story. The way you turned it into a full story with a very interesting character was nicely done, and I enjoyed the read.




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