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Review #4774366
Viewing a review of:
Another Nessie? Open in new Window. [E]
A mysterious lump appears in the town lake. Written for a Bard's Hall challenge.
by Dan I Am Author Icon
Review of Another Nessie?  Open in new Window.
Review by Allan Charles Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hi, Dan!

This was a fun take on the Loch Ness Monster prompt! It was sort of twisted, in a way, since it ended up being a dead cow's carcass. But it was quite the twist and I liked how you utilized the prompt.

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The only thing I was confused about was the very last line of the story. "Pray for rain..." Why would they pray for rain? If the cow's body is bloating and soaking up all the water in the lake, wouldn't more rain just cause it to continue and get worse?

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I have no suggestions as far as grammar. I think your dialogue was done excellently. Your characters were believable and personable.

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Overall, I really enjoyed this flash fiction. You fit a lot of details into only 24 sentences. I wrote an entry as well and didn't do nearly as well as you. *Laugh* I wish you luck in the contest and enjoyed reading your creative take.

Thanks for sharing!


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