Hi Darkscape Entertainment ;

I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your chapter. I took a quite look at your portfolio and it seems you have been busy and you only just joined - August 21, 2024. Wow. That's impressive.

That said I am reviewing a chapter, number 15. I am walking into the middle of what you have created so far. It looks like it is from a series - Dark Society.

I am feeling a little like I have walked in to a room and have no idea what's going on because I arrived at the party late. That said, I can see there has been a good deal of thought put into your characters, particularly Sabrina. I'm intrigued enough to check out some of the earlier chapters to see what I have missed.

One thing that stepped out at me was 'audible thump resonated' - I'm thinking audible is redundant because thump resonated does a great join of conveying the sensory detail.

Also, is their punctuation missing from this line:

That said, Tatum groaned.
I got the impression that something was off there.

The last line intrigues me. Who are these two girls that did not show up and why not?

Overall, I think you have a good story going here.

Are you a newbie or is this another account being used for just this story? Either way welcome to Writing.com. I hope you take some time to partake in some of the birthday celebrations. It is surely one of the best weeks on site.

Happy writing. I may just have to read some more of this interesting tale.




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .