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Review #4773811
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The Ghost Of Me Open in new Window. [13+]
Poem written for Dark Dreamscapes October 2021
by Jellyfish is in Egypt 💛 Author Icon
Review of The Ghost Of Me  Open in new Window.
Review by Choconut Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Jellyfish is in Egypt 💛 Author Icon

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


This review is in affiliation with "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.. Please remember, these are purely my own opinions, and any advice given is with the sole intention of being helpful.


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What I liked


*StarV* Wow. How have I never read this poem before? It is so haunting. As I first read it, I was wondering who the woman on the riverbank was. I thought it would be the ghost of someone who had died (which, arguably, it is). I should have taken note of the title of the poem because the woman was the ghost of you. That's deep. What a fab idea. It's clever, unique and creative.

*StarV* I love your description of the water that is "black as coal" and "almost as still as ice." It's very evocative of that cold, dreary morning when the ghost of yourself sits waiting to take over you. My God, I've seen that ghost of myself a time or two, and it's always quite jarring. You describe it so beautifully, Jenny.

*StarV* This poem kind of makes me shiver. This part, in particular: "And from her lips a whisper came / A truth I could not hear." I wonder what your ghost was trying to tell you. The fact that you couldn't hear it is interesting. Perhaps, a nod to the fact that we are generally pretty rubbish at heeding warnings from those who know better. Or, maybe, that's just me.

*Starv* You have written this poem in common measure, and from what I can tell, you have stuck to this form perfectly. The rhymes are all wonderful, and the overall rhythm of the poem is great. The same for the pacing. It's spot on.


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Suggestions


It's hard to find any way of improving this poem. I think it's fab as it is. I guess the only place I wasn't completely sure about was the end. When you said the ghost of you was waiting to take your place, I was surprised because I'd thought the ghost of you was who you had been, not who you would become. It's not a big deal because it works either way, or both ways.


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Parting Comments


This is a great poem. I really love the imagery you have used. It is an intriguing poem that has left me with some questions I know will stay with me for a while. Great work.

Thanks for sharing, and happy account anniversary month!

Choconut

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