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Review #4773621
Viewing a review of:
 Awake At Night  Open in new Window. [E]
This poem talks about being unable to sleep at night and wondering about the future.
by yojina Author Icon
Review of Awake At Night  Open in new Window.
Review by tracker Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hello yojina,

Welcome to Writing.com. We use the short cut: WdC. I read your poem “Awake At Night” and have a few thoughts to share. These are just one person’s opinions. I hope you find them helpful.

I closely relate to the insomnia you experience. Your poem is descriptive, showing the reader what is going on. This evoked feelings in me which is a good thing. It was a great choice to tell your story in the poem in first person. Biographical and/or non-fiction are not listed as genres, so I am only assuming this is personal. The free verse takes on a nice rhythm. Many lines were average length with only a few long lines.

Your first line grabbed my attention. I imagined myself lying in my bed. I liked the imagery of time dragging its feet and sleep avoiding you. I sense you are inexperienced writer. The technique of repetition in two consecutive lines, “Fear” and “Perhaps” evened me out, allowed me to slow down and take notice as the possible reasons you can’t fall asleep are revealed.

I don’t see any mechanical concerns. I wanted to suggest something about genres. Dark and Emotional are ideal choices. You are allowed one more. Readers find work by the genres they like. Your first work appears at several places so you are apt to get several reviews to keep that going you might want to add a genre like biographical if it applies to you personally.

I am very glad I happened upon your poem. It is very well thought out. I felt like it was right to the point with several points to emphasize ending in some dark thoughts. Which is okay because it left me wanting more. Just what a writer wants. Looking forward to more writing from you. Welcome again. Happy you have joined our community.

Write on!
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