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Review #4773600
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Rated: | (4.5)
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Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

This is quite a realistic slice of life you’ve described for us: the frustration, the nagging unease, the sheer mundaneness of it all. I think you have a real knack for expressing these things that might mean so much and yet are so trivial. Being a vignette of sorts, it doesn’t fit into the old form of “goals, stakes and obstacles” that we like to harp on around here, yet it paints a picture of dreary realism that could be haunting.

It feels like a thought experiment where you were stumped about what to write and simply described that moment and the setting surrounding it. This is a useful way to get past writer’s block, and what you’ve created here has a lot of potential. Is it a haunted house? Is it a “kitchen sink drama?” Is it a surrealist sort of study of the emptiness of life? Or is it just an idle scrap, something you’ve tossed out to us on the way to something else? It’s quietly, eerily relatable, and a good sample of writing.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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