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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4771794
Review #4771794
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 i woke up to a Sleep paralysis demon  [E]
very very short description of waking up to a sleep paralysis demon. Help me improve
by monkeydaarya
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi monkeydaarya,

This is a fantastic piece. The tone is full of fear. It suits the piece and plot very well. The reader is wondering who has entered the speaker's room in the night. They will read to the last word to find out. The piece is about someone who wakes up in the middle of the night to find an intruder sitting in their room. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characterization is fully developed and believable. The piece concentrates on the speaker, and they come across as a real person. There is no dialogue but it is not needed here. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the piece. The piece is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. You have accomplished a great deal in just a few words. Great job.


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