%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4771595 |
 |  | Contest Entries by Mouse  [18+] A place to encourage me to enter more contests  |
| (4.0)| Hello, I'm ScaryBee and I am reviewing your story for
 My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. INSPIRATIONThis story was inspired by the prompt, "Fast Car" performed by Tracey Chapman and Luke Combs. To judge the contest, I watched the video prompt and took away the following: The performance was soulful, moody, honest, and raw. The song itself spoke of wanting more for one's life, looking for that break, and finding peace. I'm looking for similar qualities and emotions.  THE STORYA drifter is ready to move on, but will he stay and do the right thing?  WHAT I LIKEDI thought the end was heart-wrenching and really tugged on the reader's emotions.  POV NARRATION/TENSEThis is told in the third person omniscient from Julie's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately. DIALOGUEThe story is mostly dialogue. Dialogue tags are used appropriately. DESCRIPTIONSThere's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "Dan was under the hood of his black Chevy Impala. He swore and threw the wrench." This is really the only piece of scene setting and it puts the reader in the moment. SETTINGTIME: modern day PLACE: rural setting This is something that is clarified enough for the reader, as their imagination will do the rest. CHARACTERSDan and Julie There's enough here to understand their motivations. Julie has fallen in love with Dan, but he's a drifter and it's time for him to move on. MECHANICSI did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. If anything check the following line: "So we leave state." I think it should be: "So, we leave the state." PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONSThe opening piques the reader's interest. I thought story was honest and raw, similar elements I took away from Chapman's and Comb's performance of "Fast Car." The title is appropriate for the contest. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest. An Angel Army Review
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