*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4771192
Review #4771192
Viewing a review of:
 kids  [E]
the big question : do I want to have kids?
by Oaktwig
Review of kids  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Oaktwig,

This is a wonderful article. The title is enigmatic and attention grabbing. It tells the reader very little about what the article is actually about. They are intrigued and will begin to read immediately to find out more. You introduce the topic with a brief discussion about your relationship with your nieces. This takes all the reader's attention and focuses it completely on the you and the article. They will read to the last word. You have written about your thoughts and feelings about becoming a parent. The reader is delighted with the look they get at you as a person as well as a writer. The length is perfect. You completely develop your topic without belaboring the issue and making the article tedious. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:


1)I behaved myself and if I did overstep,-Should read, "I behaved myself, and, if I did overstep,"

You use an emotional style that is very appealing to the reader. Great job.

Non-Animated Angel Army Signature
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/27/2024 @ 6:39am EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4771192