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Review #4770914
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Hi JohnWG,

This is a wonderful chapter. The chapter opens with the impending birth of a baby girl. The reader is hoping everything will go well and will read on to find out. This is a fabulous opening hook. The detail puts the reader all the way into the chapter. You have set up your main characters and plot very well for your reader. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The chapter is well paced. It moves fast enough to keep all the reader's attention, yet it moves slowly enough to allow the reader to easily follow what is going on in the chapter. I did come across a structural issue that needs your attention:

1)In a couple of places you have neglected to double space between paragraphs. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.

The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. Great job.

The WDC Army Angels
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/22/2024 @ 8:30pm EDT
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