Hi Abby,

This is a fantastic story. The tone is full of excitement. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering how Navy Blue and Mrs. Blue will cope with such rambunctious children during the trip. They will read to the last word to find out. In the story, a couple set out on a road trip to see family while having to cope with very excited, very active children. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.