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Review #4770153
Viewing a review of:
 it’s never boring,   [E]
though i’m not sure it has a point
by Chico Mahalo
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, Philip, and welcome to writing.com!

First off, I’ll admit I’ve spent the last week or so cautiously poking through your port and googling your name. I see you’re a published poet, and a fairly well-established writer in your own right, so I wasn’t sure if you’d want me reviewing one of your items and blathering on about “slice of life” and “kitchen sink drama” and references to Waiting for Godot and the absurdist playwright movement…

This story caught my attention as something other than what I’ve seen from you before, because it appears to be about a guy who spends his life continually pulling himself back from the brink of extinction and wondering why he’s bothering. He struggles with issues which one may dismiss as childish, and I’m not sure how much of it is tongue-in-cheek parody or if it’s seriously a message of some dreary hope at the end of a very long tunnel. Your writing style is down to earth and ironically poignant, drawing your characters with simple, realistic honesty as we wonder how much of what you tell us is vaguely autobiographical or written from experience. You must be a great observer of humanity, picking up on people’s small foibles and greater issues and bringing them to us in stories that are half sympathetic and half amusement.

This particular story shows us someone who isn’t quite sure what to do with himself, but he’s aware he has issues and he’s trying his best to keep them down, which in itself is admirable. One may question if the world would be any worse without this fellow, but I can’t help getting the uneasy feeling that his story is very much like mine. Someone who has spent their entire life running away from the big issues and distracting themselves with trivialities which they’ve convinced themselves are the most important things in life, only to realize that someday everything they’ve been hiding from will come back and eat them alive… phew. So yeah, I guess I would call this relatable *Laugh*

As far as improvement, well, you’ve done a great job painting your word picture, and since you’re a pro with a knack for earthy, pithy, darkly humorous wisdom, I won’t say anything about “goals, stakes and obstacles” or whatever I usually spool off for people. I would suggest, however, that you take the genre selection more seriously, as that’s a crucial aspect of helping people find your items when browsing. More importantly, three relevant genres gives you as many opportunities as possible to be nominated for the yearly Quill Awards, which are highly valued around here. Visit the port of Moderator Lilli 🧿 ☕ for more info on those *Smile* I would suggest “Philosophy,” “Satire,” “Drama,” “Psychology,” “Self-help,” “Dark,” “Comedy,” “Community,” “Family,” “Relationship,” or even “Experience” or “Personal.”

Take care, thanks for sharing and by all means keep writing *HeartT*

*GemV* *Angel*




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