Hi sapphire,

This is a wonderful piece. The title is enigmatic and attention grabbing. It tells the reader very little about what the piece is actually about. They are intrigued and will begin to read immediately to find out more. You launch into the piece without introduction or preamble. This takes all the reader's attention and focuses it completely on the topic and the piece. They will read to the last word. In the piece, you have condensed the disappointments of your past relationships symbolized by an alluring painting. The length is perfect. You completely develop your topic without belaboring the issue and making the piece tedious. I did come across a couple of structural issues that need your attention:

1)You have neglected to either double space or indent between paragraphs. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.

2)In a few places you have neglected to start sentences with a capital letter. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.

You use a formal, organized style that is very appealing to the reader. Great job.