Hi Black Abyss,

This is a wonderful story. The tone is full of aggravation and confusion. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if the people around the speaker are actually staring at him. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a business man who gets frustrated when he is convinced everyone is staring at him for some unknown reason. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:

1)You have neglected to put commas before coordinating conjunctions. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.