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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4769279
Review #4769279
Viewing a review of:
 Find A Yellow Car  [E]
I would say, find your Yellow car and get more Points.
by Deepak Sagar
Review of Find A Yellow Car  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, Deepak, and welcome to writing.com!

What a charming and relatable anecdote you’ve shared with us. An anxious parent fretting about work and everything they need to do and being caught up in an unhealthy mental loop, finds peace and mindfulness with the help of their young daughter as they ride to school together each morning.

I love the simple and straightforward way you’ve described the situation and the way you were focusing on thoughts that were “ninety percent useless” most of the time. The word “preoccupied” comes to mind. And the way you’ve drawn the conclusion which frames the story and leads us to a deeper realization of mindfulness is nice: “find your yellow car and get more points” *Smile* And the practical understanding of writing down everything which has to be done, rather than frantically thinking about it all day, is also super helpful.

Formatting wise, I always suggest using Size 4 Verdana font for an open and engaging reading experience, and ensuring you have a word count at the top of the item. The font size can be found at the top of the text entry box, in the line of tools. Line spacing between paragraphs and dialogue is also recommended for ease of reading. Perhaps adding a simple cover art of a yellow car would add an enticing touch to the way it looks before one decides to read it. Some minor grammatical things could be improved, but the overall effect is heartfelt and sincere.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *HeartT*


*GemV* *Angel*


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