Hi Sue,

This is a wonderful story. The tone is full of excitement. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want read on. The reader is wondering if Emily will enjoy Christmas. They will read to the last word to find out. In the story, a mother wonders how to make Christmas extra-special for her daughter as she reflects on the hard Christmases she had as a child. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across a couple of structural issues that need your attention:

1)You have neglected to either double space or indent between paragraphs. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.

2)In a few places, you have neglected to begin a sentences with a capital letter. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.