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Review #4768159
Viewing a review of:
 With Love & Light Open in new Window. [E]
Give action and thought to your dreams, alter and redefine your fate.
by Wandering Thoughts Author Icon
Review of With Love & Light  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hello Wandering Thoughts,

As promised, I am happy to review your poem "With Love & Light." I have a few thoughts to share with you which I hope you will find helpful.

Overall impression: Your poem has a pleasing presentation. The repeating quatrain is in italics and bold text drawing attention to it. The description inviting me to redefine my fate hooked me. The narrative making up the poem is clear and forthright. The genre "educational" applies effectively with your instructional information. You go from how things are and how to reflect and adjust aspects of your life. In the end, you won't leave your life to faith.

One grammatical part: "Allows one's souls reflections" is confusing. I think you may mean: Allows one's soul's reflections." There may be a typo "Deeds though actions" I think you mean Deeds through actions.

I like the way each stanza is built as a stand alone story within the whole. Opening with rhyme pattern aaaa gave me the desire to read on. My experience spurned inner reflection as I looked back to see if I have placed myself first and shared my reality. Was it based on fate or circumstances.

The analogy of thoughts as bricks in one's foundation with the idea you can build your life as you choose by following your passion was excellent. I could picture the concept. The sentiments expressed apply to all people. Thank you for expressing the success of my choices. It felt good. Great information, analogy, and closing with the mantra the poem included in the opening and part way through. It gave the poem superb continuity. Fabulous work!

Write on!
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