Hi askclaire,

This is a wonderful first chapter. The chapter opens with some personal information about Amanda. This takes all the reader's attention and focuses it completely on Amanda and the chapter. They will read on to find out more about her. This is a fantastic opening hook. The detail puts the reader all the way into the chapter. You have set up your main characters and plot very well for your reader. There is only one piece is dialogue, and it is well done and consistent. Amanda's mom speaks like a real person. The chapter is well paced. It moves fast enough to keep all the reader's attention, yet it moves slowly enough to allow the reader to easily follow what is going on in the chapter. I did come across a couple of structural issues that need your attention:

1) I was a circular path-Should read "I was on a circular path"

2)In a few places you have neglected to put commas before coordinating conjunctions. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.

The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. Great job.