Hi LyssFaire,

This is a wonderful story. The tone is full of confusion and longing. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is hoping that the girl in the story will learn to love herself as well as improve the relationships in her life. They will read to the last word to see if this happens. The story is about a girl who desires a deeper connection with those she loves but needs to find a way to love herself first. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. the dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:

1)She saw the love between parents and their children in movies and it didn't fit.-There should be a comma after "movies".

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.