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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4767702
Review #4767702
Viewing a review of:
Castle's Chessboard  [E]
Random Writing, Blogs and Adventures
by KingsSideCastle
         Review for entry/chapter: "Mermaid's Kiss" 
Review by Cubby
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill*



*Tulipp* Greetings, KingsSideCastle! I am reviewing this because I am part of "I Write in 2024"  and you happened to post previous to my entry. *Smile*

*Quill* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

*Tulipo* The Positives/What I Liked

         *Bulletv* I love the simplicity of this piece, and yet there is larger story between the lines. You mentioned you were inspired by "The Little Mermaid" and I definitely can see that. Great job! *Smile*

         *Bulletg* My favorite part were the opening lines...

As I was drowning in the sea,
a Mermaid came and rescued me.


         *Bulletp* Your flow, rhyme, and meter are amazing. Nothing distracted me whatsoever.


*Tulipo* Suggestions/Comments to Consider

         There is nothing I would add, subtract, or change in any way. Your punctuation is perfect and there are no typos that I have noticed.

*Tulipo* Final Thoughts

         Nice work! You've done a great job with this prompt and only an eight-line limit.

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" *SuitHeart*

Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/05/2024 @ 7:10pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4767702