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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4767025
Review #4767025
Viewing a review of:
 Genesis  [E]
Genesis tells the story of Seven individuals, whose collective story will impact the world
by ProtoGen
Review of Genesis  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi ProtoGen,

This is a wonderful story. The tone is tinged with frustration. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if why Jason is skipping school. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a teenager who decides organized fighting matches are more important than school. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:

1)You have neglected to either double space or indent between paragraphs. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.

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