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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4766255
Review #4766255
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 Far from the world  [E]
Not all the stories we write are true but merely a reality we wish to have come true.
by Justasapien
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Justasapien,

This is a fantastic chapter. The chapter opens with the image of someone lying closely with someone they trust. This feeling of tranquility grabs all the reader's attention and focuses it completely on the speaker and the chapter. They will read on. This is a wonderful opening hook. The detail puts the reader all the way into the chapter. The reader hopes this contented moment will last for the speaker. There is no dialogue but it is not needed here. The chapter is well paced. It moves fast enough to keep all the reader's attention, yet it moves slowly enough to allow the reader to easily follow what is going on in the chapter. The characterization is fully developed and believable. The chapter concentrates on the speaker, and they come across as a real person. Great job.

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/28/2024 @ 5:20am EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4766255