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Review #4766050
Viewing a review of:
 The Dispose-all 5000  [E]
Beware what you wish for, you might just get it. Harry Trimm learned this the hard way.
by GearardofElde
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

This was quite a wild ride through an imaginative and shocking experience. I was expecting the demise of poor Harry, dragged into the same monstrous machine he’d been using to procure his much desired “freedom.” It was a relief to find a happy ending, though I must point out that the complete 180 degree change in the wife’s demeanor is a bit too unrealistic. But in such a thoroughly “unrealistic” and classic story (the “Devil and Dan’l Webster,” “sign away your soul” archetype), the ending is exactly what we would like and appreciate, and as I look at it again it doesn’t seem so unreasonable because he does say “maybe I’m the one who changed…”

Harry’s character development is poignant and relatable and unnerving, as we see the typical “Everyman loser” with an unhappy marriage and every reason to wish for an escape, fall easy prey to Mr. Black and his wiles. It starts with the awful wife, who we can hardly bring ourselves to miss, but descends into the unfathomable depths of mass murder. But before Harry has a chance to carry out anything else…

I would suggest using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure an open and engaging reading experience, and your scene dividers should be centered. Also, the writing is just a wee bit sloppy, which adds to the authenticity of it as you’ll see in the next paragraph, but you can run it through Grammarly to see if there are any useful improvements suggested. You should standardize the spelling of the Dispose-All 500, as it seems to be spelled/punctuated/capitalized differently every time.

You probably haven’t noticed there’s been a conversation going around WdC lately about checking people’s writing to see if it’s been generated by AI rather than a human. I can usually tell by a person’s style whether it’s an AI story, but I checked yours anyway and it passed. Great job creating such a vivid and engaging tale.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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