Route 23 [13+] For the Writer's Cramp. A road trip from Florida to Michigan. |
Hi Wickedfugitive, This is a wonderful story. The tone is full of excitement and nervousness. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if this woman will enjoy the music festival. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a woman who is recovering from an abusive marriage and takes her first road trip since her divorce. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characterization is well done and realistic. The story concentrates on the divorced woman, and she comes across as a real person. There is no dialogue but it is not needed here. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the all the way into the story. I did come across a few structural issue that need your attention: 1)the more she discovered she was capable of.-Should read "the more she discovered what she was capable of." 2)And she felt like she needed to go alone.-There should be a comma after "And". 3)She knew looking in from the outside was no way to gage a relationship but she was still aware that the easy way they were with each other was something she’d never experienced-There should be a comma after "relationship". The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. You have accomplished a great deal in just a few words. Great job.
|