%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4764544 |
 | Gorilla Dollars  [E] Count your pennies!  |
| (5.0)    HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM"Anniversary Reviews"   My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. THE STORYA girl wants something from a gorilla.  WHAT I LIKEDI couldn't help but smile as the girl bartered with the gorilla. I thought it was a very comedic scene.  POV NARRATION/TENSEThis is told in the 3rd person limited from the little girl's perspective. Past tense is used in the story. DIALOGUEThe dialogue accents the narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately. OPENING PARAGRAPHThe opening paragraph put me right in the moment as the girl and gorilla have a stare off. CHARACTERSThe girl is all girl with her pink sparkly unicorn purse. The gorilla is pretty clever. The author does a great job capturing these elements of personality with such a tight word count. FLOW & PACINGThis is a small vinyette that flows well and keeps the reader in the moment. MECHANICSI did not notice and spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it easier on the eyes. PARTING THOUGHTSThe title is quirky and fun and fits the story well. There are some nice, light-hearted comedic beats. The story will make you smile. An Angel Army Review
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You responded to this review 07/21/2024 @ 11:47am EDT