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Review #4764142
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Chapel of the Morning Star 9500words  [13+]
A spy faces off against angels good and evil for Susan's eternity.
by Joto-Kai
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings,

I really enjoyed this slow and intriguing story. It reminds me a lot of something CS Lewis would write. I think the best part of the romantic aspect is that we don’t have any of those pesky physical elements which make me so wary of reading the typical romance (or horror, for that matter) stories. This is purely spiritual, and we don’t have any dwelling on the realities of their lives which brought them to this point. I liked having the hints of Lou’s life as a spy and how his training with the Agency taught him things which he tried to apply to the dreamy, surreal half world of the afterlife. Your descriptions are enough to keep the murkiness of everything in mind, and honestly I think this plot and setting would make a beautiful movie. In fact, I have the perfect soundtrack for it… right here *BigSmile* ▼

I also enjoyed your formatting: you've taken the advice of me and Jack on the large, open font *Smile*

The style is compelling, and your premise is unique, centered around the idea of trust or the lack thereof. Trust and faith go hand in hand, and in Purgatory such things become crucial. The idea of a scheming angel preparing an elaborate setup - together with a suspicious priest whose legacy stretches far beyond the roots of Christianity - to keep lost souls on the run from the very beings coming to save them... Oh my.

The significance of Susan's dream is a little confusing, as I'm trying to figure out where her relatives were going. Was it an illusion cast by Morgen to make her lose hope for Heaven?

I didn't think the length was too long or the buildup too slow at all... Perhaps instead of the brusque declaration of "LONG" on your title, you should simply put an estimated word count in the subtitle. That would be more helpful, because "long" is a very subjective statement, especially on WdC.

I'm afraid I don't have anything much in the way of analytical suggestions for improvement: I was thinking maybe a little more "in-between" filling in of how much Lou and Susan enjoyed each other's company, either that or I suppose more gripping showing of their emotions. But specifically, I really didn't see anything I thought needed fixing.

A fantastic and heartwarming read, dealing with the most basic act of love one can do for another, and the question of what becomes of us in the afterlife, in an imaginative and creative way.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/18/2024 @ 2:24pm EDT
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