\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4764010
Review #4764010
Viewing a review of:
 On Cherry Trees and Pirates Open in new Window. [E]
On Cherry Trees and Pirates
by BarbaricYawp Author Icon
Review by SantaBee Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A cherry tree can offer good memories or bad ones.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the poem told a story.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There is no set rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. I might suggest an edit for spelling. I think "mid" should be "mind." The poem is easy to read. I might also suggest using WDC ML to increase the font to make a bit easier on the eyes to read on the website.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "but I was always the rule follower, and you were always the pirate." This line sets more of an emotional tone, the poet is a follower and attracted to the pirate - the sense of danger, perhaps? The adventurous, untamed spirit, hoping to tame it perhaps?


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader, with a nice conversational style. In a way, the reader doesn't necessarily expect what is coming.

An Angel Army Review

Image Protector
FORUM
Angel Review Forum Open in new Window. (ASR)
Read, Review, Rate and Record all items read by the Army Angels.
#1188311 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon


Review Signature
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4764010