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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4764010
Review #4764010
Viewing a review of:
 On Cherry Trees and Pirates  [E]
On Cherry Trees and Pirates
by BarbaricYawp
Review by ScaryBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A cherry tree can offer good memories or bad ones.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the poem told a story.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There is no set rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. I might suggest an edit for spelling. I think "mid" should be "mind." The poem is easy to read. I might also suggest using WDC ML to increase the font to make a bit easier on the eyes to read on the website.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "but I was always the rule follower, and you were always the pirate." This line sets more of an emotional tone, the poet is a follower and attracted to the pirate - the sense of danger, perhaps? The adventurous, untamed spirit, hoping to tame it perhaps?


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader, with a nice conversational style. In a way, the reader doesn't necessarily expect what is coming.

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