Beckoning Shadows (Septolet Poem) [E] A septolet poem, 14 words, 7 lines, 3rd place, Pond Poetry, February 2011 |
Greetings, Sum1's Home! I am reviewing this because I discovered it on Read & Review. First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. The Positives/What I Liked What a delightful little treasure! The image you describe is clear, and very intriguing. I can envision a story surfacing from this young couple in the train car, squinting against the glare as they gaze out at the mystifying shadows that beckon them. Nice work! Suggestions/Comments to Consider I wouldn't change a thing except for maybe uncapping the first letter in each line. Those capital letters block the easy flow of this piece. I'm glad you didn't use punctuation though. I love a good free-verse poem with no caps or punctuation. There's a freedom to it that allows the reader to float through its journey. At least that's my own personal feeling about it! Final Thoughts Nice work! I would've loved to see the actual prompted image because it sounds intriguing, but your description of it made for a fine visual. Thank you for sharing, Jim. I enjoyed it very much. Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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