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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4763324
Review #4763324
Viewing a review of:
 Beckoning Shadows (Septolet Poem)  [E]
A septolet poem, 14 words, 7 lines, 3rd place, Pond Poetry, February 2011
by Sum1's Home
Review by Cubby
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*Tulipp* Greetings, Sum1's Home! I am reviewing this because I discovered it on Read & Review. *Smile*

*Quill* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

*Tulipo* The Positives/What I Liked

         *Bulletv* What a delightful little treasure! The image you describe is clear, and very intriguing. I can envision a story surfacing from this young couple in the train car, squinting against the glare as they gaze out at the mystifying shadows that beckon them. Nice work!


*Tulipo* Suggestions/Comments to Consider

         I wouldn't change a thing except for maybe uncapping the first letter in each line. Those capital letters block the easy flow of this piece. I'm glad you didn't use punctuation though. I love a good free-verse poem with no caps or punctuation. There's a freedom to it that allows the reader to float through its journey. At least that's my own personal feeling about it! *Wink*


*Tulipo* Final Thoughts

         Nice work! I would've loved to see the actual prompted image because it sounds intriguing, but your description of it made for a fine visual. Thank you for sharing, Jim. *Smile* I enjoyed it very much.


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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