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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4759903
Review #4759903
Viewing a review of:
 A.I. Open in new Window. [E]
I just want my love automatic...
by Amethyst ❄️ Angel Author Icon
Review of A.I.  Open in new Window.
Review by StephBee Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Ryan is on opposite shifts with his wife and turns to A.I. for some companionship. It could only go bad, right?

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending. Ryan's got something to hide with A.I. but the ending kinda teaches him a lesson in a good way.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person from Ryan's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

The dialogue comes in at the end and accents the narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked the description of Gal Pal A.I.
"She'll always remember your birthday and you'll never have to fret about forgetting your anniversary." She sounds like the perfect Chat A.I. The description is lighthearted and a bit tongue-in-cheek, but it's something that could happen these days.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: Ryan's home

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Ryan

Even though he's married, working opposite shifts takes a toll on him. He's easy to like and sympathize with. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the readers and keeps them reading. The story has a great conversational tone to it which makes the reading fun. A lighthearted story that will bring a smile to your face.

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#1188305 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/02/2024 @ 7:05pm EDT
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