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Review #4758986
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Review of  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  Open in new Window.
Rated: | (4.0)
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This review comes to you from HSP's "HSPs - The Basics of Erotic Writing"  Open in new Window. by Purple Holiday Princess Author Icon

Characters:
Sandra quickly learns that she likes telepathy and Ted's ability to touch her from across the room. Though it's a turn-on, she wants more and needs to be physically intimate. Ted enjoys teaching Sandra but is more excited to follow her to the bedroom.

Setting:
Describing the actions between the couple made it easy to see what was happening. You had a nice steady pace and nothing felt rushed.

Sensual Elements:
I think this is where the disconnect comes for me. I don't question what is happening between them or in the scene. What is missing for me is the emotional connection and knowing how Ted honestly feels. What does Sandra possess that others don't, and what brings him back to her? It's these little details, such as the smell of her perfume or skin, background noises or sounds. If she is groaning or her breathing is labored, how does that make him feel?

Overall Impression:
From my understanding, vampires have heightened senses, and with a telepathic connection, Ted's senses should be screaming off the page. This leads me to thinking that if he's with Sandra, and she's feeling passion, fire, electricity sizzling all around her, as a reader, I want to know that Ted is on the same page, feeling these sensations. When he does feel them, how does he process them? Does it change his reactions?

It think if you can tap into that level for Ted, this would sizzle.



Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone


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