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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4758892
Review #4758892
Viewing a review of:
 My Pets  [E]
Poetry form Ida's Sunshade, because it's my mom's name.
by IdaLin
Review of My Pets  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Dear IdaLin ,

I know shape poetry when I see it but am unfamiliar with the form. Though, I like the idea of a poem with words representative of its shape. Makes me think of the things you can do with free verse to show with the structure of the poem, complimenting theme and message.

I created my own poetry form a year ago and forgot until now…can’t even remember now what I came up with. Your poem has reminded me so I can take a look back later. Probably a stinker.

A couple of thoughts I had about your poem, not knowing if form is restricted by syllables, but you could lop off ‘ly’ in unconditionally. It would read better and I think the form might even balance a little better. Also, you say ‘roof’ but it may fit with metaphor and theme if it were something more like canopy. A different structure could be a house poem. This form could make one think of a road trip and roadside adventure to umbrella and snack in shade. Or, a trip to the beach where sunshade is useful. Cats are notoriously bad travelers, but not all.

Sometimes a small poem like this makes me think of a picture with words on the walll. Also, the poem as it stands, etched or burned into wood (shaped). These are the thoughts I had for your unique poem. I’m happy to have discovered, as it helps me progress with my own craft.

Brian

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