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 Review #4758730 |
| (4.5)| An Angel Army Review Hi Jeff  . I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "The Debt" . I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.  Overall Impression. Dialogue. I marvel at the way other people can write dialogue and convey a whole range of emotion without adding tags and things. It seems simple when I read other's dialogue only offering.You have two brothers going back and forth about doing something illegal to get one brother out of trouble from a shady deal. Playing the sympathy card to illicit a particular response is a powerful motoivator. It was sad to see neither brother could find a way to solve the big issue. I felt unresolved as a reader. Indeed, their love was tested.  Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. One question. Why is 'owe' underlined? "You owe me." I found no errors in punctuation. Well done.  My Rating. 4.5.  Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.Reviewed by JACE    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 06/30/2024 @ 7:44pm EDT