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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4758359
Review #4758359
Viewing a review of:
 Two Mix Ups Open in new Window. [ASR]
Gonna hope for the second mix up
by THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER Author Icon
Review of Two Mix Ups  Open in new Window.
Review by JACE Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
An Angel Army Review


Hi THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER Author Icon.

I'm JACE Author Icon, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Two Mix Ups" Open in new Window..

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. I found this little gem on the Read & Review feature. I found it to be a unique offering.

What a great idea for a contest entry. It's one of those "why didn't I think of that?" items. I guess some of those neurons rushing around one's head just don't seem to find the right path. *Wink*

But I do think you missed out on one part of your 'mix-up'. You wrote the entire thing as a mix up, apparently never intending to write an entry for that contest. I think you should have written at least one paragraph for real, and then decide to implement the 'mix-up'. It would make a stronger case for your efforts, in my humble opinion.

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet* One missed capitalization.  I know i'm being cheeky.  I'm

         *Bullet* Also I think you should add the following to your last line:  ... and I hope the judge is feeling indulgent!!  

*Star* My Rating.  4.0. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

Non-Animated Angel Army Signature



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 06/23/2024 @ 11:04pm EDT
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