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 Review #4757819 |
  |  | Castle's Chessboard  [E] Random Writing, Blogs and Adventures  |
| (5.0)| A Review for “Roulette” entered in the Red Wheelbarrow Poetry Contest.   Thank You for your entry! Hello KingsSideCastle ,Thank you for joining us with an entry on this month's Spring theme for the contest. I must say, there were unique titles, but this poem's topper piqued my interest. "Roulette" provided me with a compelling depiction of the unpredictable transition from winter to spring. By focusing on the battle between hot and cold and the resilience of nature, you effectively conveyed the essence of spring without relying on explicit seasonal terms, per the contest recommendation. Your approach adds a layer of depth and creativity to your work. Those first two lines, coupled with an oblique title, could turn a reader on their ear and smile with that comparative. The imagery is particularly striking. The lines you crafted, like "One of ma(n)y confused civilians appraising the aftermath of a 12 week war fought between hot and cold" was unique in capturing the chaotic and uncertain nature of early spring. In this way, comparing it to war, you've found a comparative that had me spellbound. The metaphor of a battlefield effectively conveys the struggle and resilience inherent in the transitional period. I know this very well from living in a climate that is unpredictable, with late winter to unpredictable snowfalls that can go into May. One year, it was 80 degrees on Easter and we had festivities outside! Your use of contrasting elements, such as "Tulips defiantly standing tall among the wilted cherry blossoms" and the juxtaposition of "T-shirt and sweater" on the bed, highlights this erratic weather and its impact on both nature and humans. What you contrast added a relatable quality to the poem, as it reflects on the reader's own experiences with unpredictable spring weather. I can also see neighbors gathering with a lot of 'can you believe this weather' talk as they look about. That opening scene kind of reverbs in my mind as I read the poem. I did notice a few spelling errors. No biggie. I do try to recommend improvement where possible, or insight. You could consider delving deeper into the sensory parts that are associated with this transitional period. Describing the sounds, scents, and tactile sensations of early spring could create a better feel for the experience. For example, mentioning the smell of wet earth or the sound of melting snow might enrich the poem's imagery. There's the recollections of the fight. Huh? I really like the potential of a battle with snow and ice and winds and the sun and rain. Houses and eaves could rattle, window panes, too. I can imagine a blast that strikes our bay window now with such violence it was like a mighty superhero's blow whizzing past. Who knows? A lot of drama in the fight. And what I've noticed with your poem over others is you didn't go the conventional pretty flowers and bees, bunnies and trees blossoming. A lot of springtime is a given, and you went beyond to show the struggle of nature. Spring is beautiful, but it gets windy, and precipitation comes in many forms. It arrives not as a time to go out in shorts and a tee, but brutally cold, to the point I worry if plants that arrived will be damaged by late snow and ice. By the way, the answer most often is no. Spring arrival is robust. So, this poem put its toe in that arena and I commend you for getting outside that pretty little ribbon-wrapped-up-box of spring. Also, truly exploring the emotional impact of this seasonal transition could add another layer of depth. You have war of seasons, but neighbors or narrator have been affected and would be good to see if anxiety or frustration and how that would manifest. How do these unpredictable changes affect your mood or outlook? Reflecting on the emotional resonance of the season could make this poem even more engaging and relatable. But, kudos for giving me something with a fresh approach. I will defend meteorologists, having worked side-by-side with them in radio and television. It's a tough and demanding job and relies on the National Weather Service data and they have to build their own forecast models to suit the region, county, city, town. Don't even watch the Weather Channel because they don't fine tune, just repeat NWS data which is broad and open to change, as they say, 'wait five minutes'. But, I get the sentiment and it adds to the flavor of the narrative, which I really didn't get into. It's familiar and sounds like everyman, like one of the neighbors in the street. Like a farmer without a bible-almanac. Overall, I like "Roulette." This is a well-crafted and effective poem to show spring through another lens with its depictions, including imagery and contrasting elements. Your creative approach to depicting the season's unpredictability is both engaging and thought-provoking. High marks. And thank you so much for entering and sharing your poem with the latest Red Wheelbarrow activity. Sincerely, Brian RWB Judge and WDC Super Power Reviewer  Corrections below: One of ma(n)y confused civilians appraising the aftermath... ...withstanding the a faint layer of snow at their feet. Other flowers haven't fa(i)red quite so well succumbing to last night's frosty sneak attack...  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 06/20/2024 @ 11:54pm EDT