%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4757265 |
 | The Burning Agreement  [E] Why did these pages exist? Why did burning flames not affect them?  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: This is quite a new story but it reminded me of a picture prompt from a ‘Short Shots’ contest last year, with a man holding two sheets of burning paper. This tale would have been absolutely perfect for the contest! I liked the way you set off Ezra’s ‘speech’ in green. In my head, I heard him speak from far away, even though he didn’t actually say anything out loud and the words only appeared on the paper. Otis’ reaction to this was appropriate if perhaps a little understated, not believing his own eyes but reacting to what he thought he saw nevertheless. In the end, it seemed like nothing happened at all when he was staring at two blank pieces of paper, but the readers knew it wasn’t just in his head because they ‘heard’ Ezra’s final words. The two characters were well drawn. Ezra ‘returned’ to let his old friend know not to feel guilty about how their friendship ended, and although he started a little confrontational by asking if Otis even cared what became of him, he then assured him that he was fine. Otis, although he hadn’t tried to find out about Ezra in the last forty years, was apparently still feeling a little guilty about how he had treated him. And since (as the readers found out at the end) he didn’t have long to live, it was a nice touch that Ezra dropped by to tell him he needn’t worry.  Suggestions: There was one part where I thought the story would have benefited from a bit more backstory. What exactly was the reason why Otis didn’t simply amend the agreement if he wasn’t happy with it, rather than burning it and throwing away a life-long friendship? Ezra seemed a reasonable man and he indicated that he didn’t insist on the agreement being written in this way, so I’m sure they could have worked it out. Maybe I missed something, but I think that part needs clarifying. The only other thing that jumped out at me was how Ezra states that he is happy to talk to his friend because he has all the time in the world. Only a few sentences later, he appears to be rushing off because he really can’t stay. Again, I felt like I had missed something - perhaps Otis’ ending was approaching sooner than I had thought. If not, I would consider changing the first statement to something along the lines of, ”Sure, I can stay a little longer.”  Final Thoughts: Of course, I now doubt myself and wonder if Ezra wasn’t actually as friendly and forgiving as he sounded to Otis or if the last line was meant as a threat. It didn’t sound that way, but it would put a totally different spin on the story! Spin or not, I enjoyed the read    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 06/16/2024 @ 3:35pm EDT