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Review #4756621
Viewing a review of:
 That's What You Get Open in new Window. [13+]
Robert is caught in a lie
by Purple Holiday Givings Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings,

I’m here for I Write 2024.

A brief and enjoyable story about a dishonest car repair shop owner who gets what’s coming. You have all the essential elements of a flash fiction: beginning, middle and end, well sketched characters, and a relatable situation with a good moral. We’ve all had experiences where someone was obviously lying, and it can be difficult to know how to respond. This was a satisfying ending as we see the brash and careless shop owner shown up by a smart customer (if he’s really smart he’ll have his car towed out of that shop - if Robert lies about being available, what else will he lie about?)

Grammar and spelling and all that are great; there was nothing here to pull me out of the story. I went along wondering what would happen next and if there would be a dark twist or something. I like the realistic “kitchen sink drama” type of setting you’ve chosen; it’s instantly recognizable and easy to follow.

Formatting is excellent - now that I asked SM how to fix the Comic font display on my iPad, I have nothing left to fuss about with that. I would recommend you add a third relevant genre to the item, since that will help you get more visibility and more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award. “Career” or “Technology” would be fine.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4756621