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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4755703
Review #4755703
Viewing a review of:
 Starlight and you  [13+]
My first item for the writers cramp
by Whoami
Review of Starlight and you  
Review by Cubby
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY MONTH FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Tulipp* Greetings, Whoami! I am reviewing this because June is your Writing.com anniversary month. You'll have been here for one year on the 14th! I hope you are enjoying yourself here. It's a great community! *Smile*

*Quill* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

*Tulipo* The Positives/What I Liked


         *Bulletv* I love the simplicity of this free-verse piece. Too many words sometimes feel bulky in this type of poem, so good job on keeping it simple.
         *Bulletg* I like that you didn't begin each line with a capital letter, as it flows so much nicer. I also like the inner-line rhymes scattered throughout this piece.
         *Bulletp* In your title summary, you mention this was your first entry in the Writer's Cramp contest. What a great contest, by the way. I hope you did well.
         *Bulletb* I believe my favorite lines are...

Yet the
stars too lie

         *Bulleto* Nice work! *Smile*


*Tulipo* Suggestions/Comments to Consider

         I have just one little suggestion for you to consider.

they still live
million years

I think you left out the word "a":
they still live
a million years



*Tulipo* Final Thoughts

         I like how you compare this person to the stars that lie. Good job!


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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