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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4755642
Review #4755642
Viewing a review of:
 Just Yapping  [E]
a boring long text how she hurted me
by a mentally unstable guy
Review of Just Yapping  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hi a mentally unstable guy,

This is a wonderful piece. The title is enigmatic and attention grabbing. It tells the reader very little about what the piece is actually about. They are intrigued and will begin to read right away to find out more. You launch into the piece without introduction or preamble. This takes all the reader's attention and focuses it completely on the topic and the piece. They will read to the last word. You have written about a very difficult relationship in your life. The reader is delighted with the look they get at you as a person as well as a writer. The length is perfect. You completely develop your topic without belaboring the issue and making the piece tedious. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:

1)In most of the piece you have neglected to start sentences with a capital letter. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.

You use an emotional style that is very appealing to the reader. Great job.

Simply Positive multi-sig for reviewers

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