Hi Hustler,

This is a wonderful story. The tone is formal. It suits the story and plot very well. The reader is hoping that Elara will be able to bring magic into the light of acceptance. They will read to the last word to find out if this happens. The story is about a magic wielding girl who fights against those who suppress the use of magic in the world, and its users. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characterization is fully developed and believable. The story concentrates on Elara, and she comes across as a real person. There is no dialogue but it is not needed here. The description is detailed and vivid. You use strong imagery to put your reader all the way into the story. I would change only one thing here:

1)I would have liked to find out exactly what the secret is that Eldoria's city council is keeping. Knowing that would give even more impact to the story.

The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. You have accomplished a great deal in just a few words. Great job.