Requiem [E] . A very dear friend recently lost her son..I wrote this for her |
HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Greetings, Nani - Blessed Indeed! I am reviewing this because today is your 15th Writing.com anniversary! Wow. I hope you continue to have many more! First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. The Positives/What I Liked What a lovely piece you have written for your friend, after the loss of her son. I just can't imagine the pain I would feel from the loss of one of my children or grandchildren. UGH. It makes me emotional just thinking about it! You must be a very special friend to have written this. The lines that tugged at my heart the most, were... Somewhere between sleep and awake I hear you calling my name Suggestions/Comments to Consider I hesitate to make any kind of suggestion at all, due to the heartfelt words you have written for your grieving friend. But since you are allowing reviews, I'll mention only a couple things I noted: The meter flows very nicely, but for a couple lines. Stanza 7, Line 1: I thank God for the moments we shared [It just needs a period. ] Final Thoughts You have a good title, a great summary, and have made use of all three genre choices! But most of all, you've proven to be a caring friend who's written a tender poem for a grieving parent. Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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