Tweaker [18+] Haiku Poetry |
Greetings, Christoph W Viszcok! I am reviewing this because I am discovered it on Read & Review. First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. The Positives/What I Liked You did a great job following the 5/7/5 haiku pattern. I'm so glad you included Psychology as one of your genre choices because the first time I read through this piece, I was confused. After noticing the genre, I had an A-ha` moment. I'm assuming this person has a mental illness, perhaps Alzheimer's, or schizophrenia. Whatever it is, it sounds like an awful place to be, mentally. My favorite line is No one answers her because it gives the reader a sense that something is wrong with this person. Suggestions/Comments to Consider I'm unsure about your title: Tweaker , as to how it relates to the haiku. Perhaps in your summary, under the title, you could add a little more description to Haiku Poetry. Other than that, I have no other suggestions. Final Thoughts The more times I read this, the better I like it. There is a story here, within this haiku. It would actually make a great prompt for a story. Nice work! Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
|