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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4754768
Review #4754768
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by A Guest Visitor
Review by Cubby
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Tulipp* Greetings, WritingCoffeeBear! I am reviewing this because June is your anniversary month. I noticed you'll have been here for one year on June 14th! I hope you are enjoying yourself in this awesome community! *Smile*

*Quill* FYI: My reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

*Tulipo* The Positives/What I Liked


         *Bulletv* First of all, I love the image you have chosen for this piece. It's perfect for your poem, which focuses on hope.

         *Bulletg* Second of all, my mother's name was Hope and so is my daughter's, so I was drawn to this piece for that particular reason. *Wink*

         *Bulletp* This is an absolutely lovely piece! Have You Seen Hope? is the perfect title, too. It's so important to remember that hope does exist, but sometimes it feels the opposite way.

         *Bulletb* There is a lot more to the first stanza that just the words. You've managed (in only four lines) to give the reader a sense of someone who is in a dark place, where the darkness reminds you there is no hope, so forget it. This inner voice you've accomplished here, feels so real. Excellent!

         *Bulletbr* In your second stanza, the reader gets the sense that hope is beyond reach, unattainable, and yet some people still believe it's real.

         *BulletGr* In your final stanza, it is decided that hope really does exist, which is, of course, a positive ending. *Smile* If only it were true for everyone, which sadly, not everyone believes in hope. It's in this stanza, however, that contains my most favorite line...

They say Hope has a beautiful smile



*Tulipo* Suggestions/Comments to Consider

         I'm mostly just curious about Line 2 in your last stanza: Some say that she is with her ponies, It's actually a great line, but I've never heard it before.

         Other than that, my only suggestion would be is to make your font a little larger. On a phone, it's fine, but on the laptop, it's harder to read. And that might be an older-person's issue, so there's that. *Laugh*


*Tulipo* Final Thoughts

         I truly enjoyed this piece. This is beautifully written and evokes a message we all need to hear now and then.

         Nice work!



Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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