Hi Mysha.ember,

This is a fantastic story. The tone is tinged with unease. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if Iqbal will realize he is injured and get treatment. They will read to the last word to find out. In the story, a doctor in a military battle tends to his patients when he discovers he, himself, is injured. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. As a part of a longer story, this is perfect. It is neither too long or too short. I have been in many medical situations, and the character interactions seem natural to me. The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.