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Review #4753433
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Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

This is such a poignant and beautiful story, there’s not much I can say about it. You’ve woven a dark and haunting web of strange beauty and darkness lurking beneath the waves of the Loch. At first I was thinking of a serpentine “Loch Ness” monster, but this formerly human creature is far more captivating, as we see the beauty in brokenness, the inherent danger of becoming enthralled by something so foreign and powerful, and the ultimate loss of one’s being to the overwhelming tragedy of what lies beneath the stunning surface. The words of wisdom provided by the granny are relatable and significant, and I appreciated your descriptions of the Scottish setting.

I noticed you use the simile technique rather frequently, employing the word “like” to illustrate a comparison about 15 times throughout the story. This creates a mystical, poetic effect, but one should be careful not to overdo it.

I would recommend using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and compatibility across devices. A word count would be a good idea as well, in case you want to enter it into a contest. (Most prefer under 2000 words.)

I really enjoyed reading this; it was dark, yet lovely, haunting but not upsetting. A refreshing break from the ordinary.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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