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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4751162
Review #4751162
Viewing a review of:
 the truth about me   [E]
things I don't want to admit
by nightfairy
Review by Cubby
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Tulipp* Greetings, nightfairy! I am reviewing this because this is your WDC Anniversary Month. *Smile* One year old! I hope you have many more account anniversaries here. It a great community. *Heart*

*Quill* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

*Tulipo* The Positives/What I Liked

         *Bulletv* This is beautifully and painfully written. To leave someone you love, hurts; but to stay with that person, hurts even more. *Heart* What is one to do? As painful as it might be, it's better to stay away. Eventually, time will begin to heal. But that, of course, is your choice. You mention you are soulmates. Is it possible to be friends?

         *Bulletg* My favorite lines are...

         Line 5: I see you in everything
         Line 10: but with you, it hurts more
         Line 13: I know you want nothing to do with me
         Line 15: we're soulmates

So many emotions in those lines.


*Tulipo* Suggestions/Comments to Consider

         Line 3: seeing you scare the hell out of me *Right* seeing you scares the hell out of me

         Line 12: somedays that seem impossible *Right* somedays that seems impossible

         Line 14: but something seems always pulls us together *Right* but something seems always to pull us together

         Everything else looks great!


*Tulipo* Final Thoughts

         I noticed you haven't been here for a few months. I hope you are okay and that you'll come back. Your poem is well-written and I've no doubt you have more to write about and share. *Heart* We all carry truths about ourselves we don't like to admit, but that's only human. They make for great poetry!

Happy One-Year WDC Anniversary!


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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