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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4750650
Review #4750650
Viewing a review of:
 The Flight Home  [E]
My first 100 word story
by Sum1's Home
Review of The Flight Home  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Well!

That certainly was unexpected! You've proved just how much can 'happen' in a mere 100 words! *Laugh*

What I like:
1. The brevity *Wink*
2. The way you begin - and then how you progress. There isn't much room for 'suspense' in this form, but it certainly was unexpected.

Suggestion:
You know what? Strange as it may sound, I think you can pack in more. At the first mention of 'crack' I knew what had happened. So some words between that and the last sentence could be put to better use.

Maybe, early on, that he was dreaming of something ... before the climactic action starts?

Hundred On!
- Sonali

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/09/2024 @ 6:48am EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4750650