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Review #4750316
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My Favorite Summer Open in new Window. [E]
Short short story. Summer love for kids staying with relatives while school's out.
by Pumpkin Ready for a New Year Author Icon
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

What a sad story, and still, it was a tale of the young narrator’s favourite summer because he met the love of his life. You didn’t say if they were able to continue their relationship at a later stage, but from the opening paragraph, it sounded like he never saw her again, which added another layer of sadness. Still, he was grateful to experience the friendship, and I am hoping that I misread that line at the beginning and there might have been a happy ending for them after all. A sign of a good story - I really cared about those two characters.

You described them very well, not just the way they looked but also their personalities. He fell in love with her the moment he saw her, and he loved spending time with her and being there for her when she was sad. The other characters came across well, too, and I especially liked how the grandmother explained to Jim what had happened and how he could best help his friend. That was sound advice and a great way to tell a child. My favourite line was Don’t be afraid. Just be yourself. But don’t think that you can fix anything. You can’t. That’s important for anyone to remember in that situation: The best you can do is be there, but you can’t make it go away.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was very polished and I only noticed a few small errors:

I want to you to meet someone.
Just a spare word, the first “to”.

Hey, you want to want to go look at the cows?
Again, you’ve doubled up on a couple of words, “want to”.

Grandpa, is supposed to take us
I don’t think you need the comma there.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I really enjoyed this story. The tone and mood were exceptional and I came away feeling both sad for the characters and happy that I had read their tale. An all-round great story!




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