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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4750315
Review #4750315
Viewing a review of:
ruwth is writing...  [18+]
I will be adding stories & reflections as time marches on. Take a gander today!
by ruwth
         Review for entry/chapter: "The Tide Came In...
Review by Cubby
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill*


*Tulipp* Greetings, ruwth! I am reviewing this because I am part of "I Write in 2024 and your entry was the last one posted. *Smile*

*Quill* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

*Tulipo* The Positives/What I Liked


         *Bulletv* I noticed right off that you have entered Hook of the Book! What a fun contest, yes? Your presentation looked very nice with the image, the font you used, and the first few lines felt very intimate. *Heart*

         *Bulletg* My favorite part was when your chair began to shift in the sand. That immediately peeked my interest!


*Tulipo* Suggestions/Comments to Consider

         Don't get me wrong, I like what you've written so far, but I'd like you to ask yourself something: If you read the first few sentences of a book, would this hook you right away? If the answer is yes, completely disregard this section of this review. Otherwise, read on... *Smile*
         Everything you've written is fine, but you might want to consider making it just a hair more intriguing. Perhaps begin it with the chair shifting. Grab that reader right off and give them a reason to keep on reading. It's entirely up to you, of course! *Smile* Just a thought.


*Tulipo* Final Thoughts

         Best of luck in the contest, Ruwth! *Heart*


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4750315