*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4749877
Review #4749877
Viewing a review of:
Her First Time  [E]
Don't jump to conclusions.
by Zeke
Review of Her First Time  
Review by Cubby
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

*Tulipp* Greetings, Zeke! I am reviewing this because today is your 17th WDC Anniversary and I appreciate all the reviews you've sent me in the past! *Smile*

*Quill* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

*Tulipo* The Positives/What I Liked

         *Bulletv* Of course the title drew me in right away: Her First Time. It gives the reader a sense of what it could be, but it's probably not. *Wink* Plus your Intro Summary--Don't jump to conclusions--makes one curious.

         *Bulletg* Haha! The ending was a nice surprise, Zeke. *Bigsmile* And somewhat of a relief! Whew. *Laugh* I can certainly connect with the anxiety of going to the dentist. I never feared the shots though. It's having to keep my mouth open and keep myself from swallowing my spit while having a cavity filled (or whatever other procedure being done) that gives me panic. *Shock2*

         *Bulletp* You've done a great job with this little story, Zeke. It flowed nicely, had a good amount of dialogue, and kept this reader reading.

         *Bulletb* On top of all that, it made me smile. Though now I'm thinking I should probably cut back on eating ice cream. *Rolleyes**Icecream* (Dark chocolate Dove-Minis are my favorite!)


*Tulipo* Suggestions/Comments to Consider

         I did not notice any typos, gramma issues, or incorrect punctuation. I have no suggestions. Nicely done!


*Tulipo* Final Thoughts

         By any chance, were you ever a dentist? (I had to ask!) I don't dislike dentists, but I HATE going to the dentist.

         You've done a great job with this piece, evoking both laughter AND anxiety in me. *Laugh* And perhaps this is a good reminder that I really should make a dentist appointment before I need a tooth pulled. *Wink*

         Thanks for this enjoyable piece, Zeke. And once again, Happy 17th WDC Account Anniversary! *Heart*


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
Animated WDC Angel Signature for Premium Members

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/05/2024 @ 12:23pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4749877